Lesson Nine – A Cautionary Tale

If you have been reading this blog for a while, you know I can be a tad heavy at times, so I thought I'd share a moment of shared hysteria as H and I were returning from the house of some friends.

We are (sort of) at tape 9 in the Pimsleur Italian 1 series of CD's...in preparation for our trip to Venice. Most of it is pretty rote: a phrase, the enunciation of syllables starting at the end of the word, and then repetition two or three times. As you advance, you have to come up with the phrase itself; the speaker repairs the botched effort you have made, and there is more repetition.  We have focused on eating and drinking, and the words for "when" (quando), "what" (che chosa), where (dove), want (vuole), would like (vorrei), understand (capisco), speak (parla), and an assortment of locational words for here (qui), there (li) and a few others. (Please note that my spelling may be way off since I am only hearing these words.

So CD#9 launched us off on telling time with numbers thrown in seemingly at random: one (una), two (due), eight (otto) and nine (nove).  But as the lesson progressed it became clear that there was a method to this, and all of a sudden we were in the middle of high drama....

Say 'one oclock':  l'una
Say 'nine oclock': le nove
Say 'at two o'clock': alle due
Say 'I'd like to have lunch at your place': vorrei prantsare da lei

[Huh?  I thought we were telling time! We already have some history, by the way, with Marcello being a bit forward with Alessandra.  "I'd like to have lunch at your place" might be another of those instances...]

Ask 'at what time' : a che ora?
Ask 'at one o'clock or at two o'clock': all'una o alle due?
Say 'at eight o'clock': alle otto
Say 'at nine o'clock': alle nove
Ask 'at what time' : a che ora?
Say 'I don't know at what time': non so che ora
Say 'at two o'clock, agreed?': alle due, d'accordo?

[She hasn't agreed to anything, but Marcello is insistent...]

Say 'alright, at my place': daccordo, da me
Do you remember how to say at the hotel?: a l'hotel
Try to ask 'where is the hotel Via Veneto please?': Dove l'hotel Via Veneto, per favore?
Answer 'it's over there on Via Veneto street':  e li a Via Veneto

[Why is it that there is something in the invitation to have lunch "at my place" that seems ...what...vaguely lascivious, leering... They didn't conflate time telling with sex when I was learning French in elementary school....Maybe there's something about Italian...]

How would you ask her if she would like to drink something with you?: Vorreibe biere qualcosa con me, signorina?

[See what I mean? That rogue!]

How does she correct you and say 'not "Miss"; "Mrs."?':  Non signorina; signora
Say 'sorry ma'am': Scusi signora!
Say 'but would you like to drink something with me?' Ma vorreibe biere qualcosa con me?

[Sorry, I understand you're an adult and you DID say you are  married, but hey, what the hell.  Would you like to drink something with me anyway? You are lovely and I am a male and this IS Italy after all...]

How does she say 'no thank you'; non grazie; grazie; grazie; non grazie signore
Say 'not now':  non adesso
And how does she say 'not later': e non piutardi

[Alessandra is polite, most often, even in the face of Marcello's assertive rather...tone-deaf, one note, insistent ways.  But "No thank you.  Not now, and not later" feels like a pretty closed case.  Not to Marcello, though...]

Ask 'but at one o'clock agreed?':  all'una, daccordo?
Listen to how she says: 'It's not all right with me': no sono daccordo
Now you say 'it's not all right with me': no sono daccordo.

[You bet I will say it! No sono daccordo!  Are you listening Marcello? ]

She says, 'no thank you, I do not want to'; Use 'I' for emphasis." Io non voglio.

[Okay, so in the last five lines, she's said, "No thanks, not now and not later.  It's not alright with me.  I DO NOT WANT TO!" And in Italian, there seems to be something of real intensity about using "want" instead of "would like" and adding the pronoun "I" or "you".  Most mortal men would have slunk away by now.  But the indefatigable Marcello presses forward.]

Say 'later? at eight o'clock?': piutardi? alle otto?
She says, 'no thank you': non grazie
Say 'or at nine o'clock?':  o alle nove?
She answers "certainly not". Listen and repeat:  assolutamente non!

[OK so you know that H and I have been finding every possible excuse to look at each other and say 'assolutamente non!' By this time, we're doubled over with laughter, barely able to drive the car home.  This is the first time in nine lessons that Alessandra has stood up to Marcello's testosteronic insistence.  I can hardly wait to get to Venice and try my turn at 'assolutamente non!'  It will feel as though I am a native speaker!]

Ask 'at what time'?: a che ora?
Tell me, at what time?: midica, a che ora?
At what time would you like to drink something with me?: A che ora vorreibe biere qualcosa con me?

[H has taken to adding "baby" at the end of these plaintive sentences.  A che ora vorriebe biere qualcosa con me, bebe?  Per favore, bebe?]

Note that in the next few sentences the 'you' and 'I' are used for emphasis. How does the woman answer, ' I do not want to drink something with you?'  Io non voglio biere qualcosa con lei.
Say, "Ah!  I understand now.': Ah, Io capisco adesso. Io capisco.
'Va bene. Lei capisce adesso.'
Say, 'you don't want to drink something with me': Lei no vuole biere qualcosa con me.
'But you would like to eat something with me': Ma lei vorreibe mangiare qualcosa con me.
Add 'at the restaurant': al ristorante.
Ask 'at one o'clock or at two o'clock'?: All'una o alle due?

[Okay, baby, so you don't want to drink with me, I get it... but you want to eat with me at the restaurant, right?  One o'clock or two o'clock, baby?]

She says 'not at one o'clock and not at two o'clock: non all'una e non alle due.
She adds for good measure 'not at eight o'clock and not at nine o'clock': non alle otto e non alle nove.
Ask 'at what time': a che ora?

[How do you say "go girl" in Italian?  When a woman says "I don't want to drink something with you, certainly not!  Not at one o'clock or two o'clock, nor at eight o'clock or at nine o'clock!" she's probably not hoping that Marcello finally guesses at the right answer that she wants to go drinking with him at 10:45....]

She says 'you don't understand, sir': Lei non capisce, signore
Ask her 'what don't I understand'?  Che cosa non capisco?
She answers: 'You don't understand Italian, sir'; Lei non capisce l'Italiano, signore.

This is the end of unit 9.

[I can't wait for unit 10!  If there are any Pimsleur-ites out there in blog land, please let me know whether unit 9 in Serbo-Croatian or Hindi or Tagalog is similar. I am assuming that only the Italian and French scripts get to wine and beer in the fourth lesson....but how universal is this???  Is there a hidden subtext to watch out for Italian men when on vacation? Assolutamente si! ]

Io capisco l'Italiano un po adesso, e lei?  Sono le nove e vorrei biere del vino adesso. State bene. Buona Notte.