Jet Set

When you travel a lot:

• You have a favorite restaurant at the Charlotte International Airport
• You have all your pants pockets emptied out and into a specific zippered compartment of your carry-on before you ever get in line for security
• You can balance on each foot alternately to untie the other shoe while standing upright
• You get on a plane in the snow, and get off surrounded by palm trees
• You've thought about buying the Garden Yeti, the FootSmart SmartFlexx, or a set of personalized beer mats from the SkyMall catalog
• You know that soccer games and action movies are just as good without the headphones
• You have three sizes of carry-on luggage: pretty small, really small, and why bother
• You know that it's almost impossible to find dark chocolate in the newsstands
• You've given up on finding local tourist merchandise that isn't the same stuff as everywhere else with a different decal on it 
• You throw all of your change into your carry-on instead of putting it in your pocket
• You wonder who shops at the PGA Tour Shop in an airport
• You overtip the server at the themed restaurant in the concourse — a bad enough job in the best of circumstances, here coupled with a daily commute to the airport and trip through security
• You know that your moderately determined walking pace beats almost everyone on the moving walkway
• You treasure that extra fifty feet after the security area, especially when it has a bench so you can put on your shoes and your belt and find your wallet and watch again
• You know when to feed the cab driver just a little more information to keep him navigating comfortably without confusing him with too much detail
• You know that there are only two or three magazines (New Yorker, New York Review, The Sun) that can sustain a three-hour flight, no matter how interesting all the covers in the newsstand might be
• You've been so bored that you bought a copy of Fifty Shades of Gray to see what all the hype was about, and have later contributed it to a garage sale or library donation
• You wonder if Wolfgang Puck would have ever had a career as a chef if his name had been Wally Morton
• You know that departure is up, arrival is down
• You know how to walk down an airplane aisle like a two-dimensional Egyptian painting, briefcase in front and carry-on in back and nothing side-to-side

If I think about my air-travel experience divided into decades...
0-10 years old:  none
10-20 years old:  twice
20-30 years old:  once
30-40 years old:  six times
40-50 years old:  about 25 times
50-54 years old:  at least 40 times

So over the next five years, the trend predicts that I should travel by air about once every two weeks.  Just between now and early summer, I have trips to San Francisco, Daytona Beach (again), Chicago, Portland ME, Baltimore, Los Angeles, and Baltimore again.  And those are just the ones I know about right now, and after a trip to Europe and two weekends in Florida over the past six weeks.

I just flew home from Charlotte... and boy, are my arms tired!